


maybe ours is the cause of all mankind

by pocky_slash



Category: X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Canon Disabled Character, M/M, Post-Beach, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-25
Updated: 2013-03-25
Packaged: 2017-12-06 11:19:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/735083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pocky_slash/pseuds/pocky_slash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>I read with every broken heart / we should become more adventurous.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	maybe ours is the cause of all mankind

**Author's Note:**

> Title and summary from "More Adventurous" by Rilo Kiley. Originally posted on tumblr, but edited slightly.

After Cuba, Erik makes the call, but Charles makes the first move. It surprises him. He thinks he should be worried about seeming desperate or needy, but it's Erik, and for all that's come between them--mountains and canyons and terrain that's unfamiliar and barren--Erik still knows him better than anyone else ever has, better than anyone else ever could. He can trust that Erik understands him, and the trust is rewarded in the sound that Erik makes into his mouth, broken and sharp and wet, a sound the same shape as the hole in Charles' chest.

Of course Charles makes the first move. He's already been broken so badly, what does he have to be afraid of?

He smokes a cigarette after, his first in too long. He only smoked in bars, before, and in bed. He's not been in a bar or had a bed partner since Erik, but his lungs remember the movements and the burn. He lies on his stomach with his eyes closed while he smokes, Erik's hand spread across his back. He can picture what it must look like, the huge spread of Erik's fingers across his paler, scar-riddled skin, even if he can't feel it entirely.

"I didn't think you'd come," Erik says as the sun begins to set. There's a cool breeze through the curtains; spring has come at last.

"Why shouldn't I?" Charles asks. "I'd come forever if I knew you could love me. I've told you that."

"I do love you," Erik says. He says it without stuttering, without pause. He'd hesitated the first time. The second was almost painful. Charles weaned him off of the hesitation. He was afraid the intervening months had erased the progress. "You know I do."

"You don't love me more than you hate humanity," Charles says. He takes a drag off his cigarette. "I'd sacrifice everything for you. I did it once already. But I can't let you be the center of my world knowing I'll never be the center of yours."

It's a lie. Erik is already the center of his world. He hopes, though, that one day it will be the truth. He hopes that one day he'll be dedicated to his fledgling school and his students. He hopes that one day he'll think back on Erik with wistful nostalgia for a lost love.

(He hopes, one day, that Erik will be the one doing the sacrificing, that Erik will come to him, that Erik will become as daring with his heart as Charles has. He hopes the pain in Erik's heart will drown out the anger in his soul and he'll come to Charles, then, finally, _finally_.)

"I love you," Erik says, because it's all he can say, the only truth that won't ignite Charles' wounds or, at least, won't ignite them unbearably. He kisses Charles' shoulder. Charles is glad he can't see Erik's face. "I love you."

Charles closes his eyes and in the morning, he once again leaves the pieces of his heart behind until the next time. He'll always come when Erik calls; the damage has long since been done. There's nothing left to fear.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [for me to be saved and you to be brave (more adventurous remix)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/824182) by [pearl_o](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pearl_o/pseuds/pearl_o)




End file.
